celiac and autism

***I'm reposting my facebook rant here, should anyone need to bookmark it for information***

FINALLY!!! I have said this for YEARS! Real research is coming out saying, "hey guess what, we're probably misdiagnosing a lot of kids with autism and add/adhd who really have Celiac!!" March/April 2013 Issue of Simply Gluten Free Magazine, by Dr. Vikki Peterson of www.healthnowmedical.com authored the article. There are multiple studies listed but the main thought is, "Research shows the actual condition creating ADHD or autism-like symptoms is factually the presence of celiac disease or gluten sensitivity. In other words, gluten intolerance can so mimic ADHD and autism that a misdiagnosis can occur."

We've come a long way in progress for children with Autism and spectrum disorders. But we still have a long way to go. What if we are missing a huge chunk of children, who really only need the GF diet? Maybe they don't need countless hours of therapy or invasive testing and evaluation? What if they really just need the GF diet?? I'm not saying every child diagnosed with Autism is really Celiac. But why not test? Why not TRY the GF diet, because if it's Celiac, it's going to work fast.

We've long known for years the connection of leaky gut to autism, the gut brain connection. I've said for years there will one day be such a thing as Celiac Induced Autism. Eli is living proof, once gluten was removed, he developed completely normal. If I reintroduce it, he completely regresses. This is not a coincidence. This is a connection, a REASON he was so developmentally delayed and so fast (within months of introducing gluten at age 12 mos). If you know a child with autism, have a child with autism, TRY THE DIET! IF you have a child with ADD, ADHD, why not TRY the diet? Versus incredibly toxic meds for life? Why not try a natural change of eating?

Here are the things I commonly hear about GF diet: "My child is so picky already! What will he eat?" Yes, guess what, my child ate NOTHING. It was the biggest thing we battled with. It took years but he eats now. Guess what, if they have autism, they will likely be picky whether you eat GF or not. So let them be picky with GF food.

"Gluten free food is so expensive! What will we do?" How much do you spend on docs? Therapies? How much does your MENTAL ANGUISH cost you at your child driving you insane? Isn't the price of food worth that? Shop around, buy in bulk, buy with other GF people! Join a Celiac support group or Autism support group and buy in bulk with them! Each foods NATURALLY GF like fruits, veggies, meats, rice, etc.

"What if it doesn't work?" It might not. It really, truly might not. If your child has Celiac, whether with or without and ASD diagnosis, the GF diet will heal their body and help their mind. If your child does NOT have Celiac, but DOES have Autism, it MAY help. Many kids with autism but who are not Celiac, do benefit from the GF (and often Casein free diet). But many do not. We don't know all the whys and hows. But why not TRY!?

 I don't say all this to minimize the reality that there are far too many children with Autism around. I say these things to encourage anyone to TRY the GF diet if you or someone you love may be a good candidate for it. I say these things to encourage you to think outside the physician imposed box and ponder, "What's really good for my child?" What worked for us, may not work for you. But what IF, what IF, your child with Autism is really just a severe case of Celiac. That one diet change could alter his or her life FOREVER. Because guess what, the GF diet is not a prison sentence. It's not the END of eating certain things, it's the beginning of health, energy, vibrance and a new life. Yes, it stinks to not always eat what others eat, but there are SO many good choices out there and so much improvement in the GF lifestyle, it's NOT THAT BAD!

Eating gluten free versus a lifetime of the hell I went though pre-diagnosis of Celiac? Hands down, GF food all the way.

You will never, ever know, until you try.

~~Amy

***These are MY Opinions! While I do chair the local Celiac Sprue Association, these are my personal thoughts. Please feel free to ask me anything about Celiac, even the gross stuff, and please refer to http://www.csaceliacs.info/ for more information about Celiac Disease.***

The Big 0-5

I can't believe my baby is turning 5. I know soon I'll be adding a 1, or 2, or 3 in front of that and saying the same thing...but still..my baby...growing up! Here's a little journey of my baby boy :)

Happy Birthday E!! I love you, even when you drive me batty and test my limits!
~~mommy

I think we need a change...of diet...

I have a bad case of the blah's. No energy, EXTREMELY limited patience with my children (more limited than my usual short fuse), general grumpiness, and just MEH. I think it's the heat, the kids being out of school, the stress of having a house on the market that no one seemingly even wants to LOOK at....but I suspect a huge underlying cause is my diet.

I've been Gluten Free for over 7 years now and it's been quite a journey. But before that I definitely had an unhealthy diet. I was raised on sugary, fried, high fat, high calorie foods. Greens? Hah! Veggies?? HAH HAH! I come from the land of "if it moves, kill it and fry it.". My mother showered me with sugary snacks and treats rather than deal with me. (When she went into the hospital before she died her blood sugar was over 600....it was obviously an addiction for her.)

I too have a rampant sweet tooth. Now, my diet is LIGHTYEARS ahead of where it was as a kid. Now I WILL eat fruits and veggies, in a variety of forms. But I live with three very very picky eaters, one big and two little.

We've had a major food battle here for years. Our oldest is slightly better than the younger, but the youngest, E, eats very little. Nothing much healthy and we can use his Autism excuse all day long, but in the end, it's been that I don't want to deal with the epic battle that will ensue when I cut off his normal snacking and force healthy food. It's going to be uuuuuuuuuuuuugly.

What I'm thinking is, the only way for me to do this is to drastically change what is IN the house for us to eat. Now I'm not one who thinks you can't ever have dessert, sodas, etc. Even the great "health gurus" say if you want to lose weight to not cut out your faves ENTIRELY. Then you will feel extremely deprived and gorge.

But if the unhealthy food is IN the house, you will eat it. Therefore I am vowing to cut out some things from our diet. I'm sure this will be a process. I am not throwing out food we already have, because I don't have the funds to just toss food. But I made a small victory today when I refused to buy the kids the fruit chewy gummy treats they suck up like crazy. Yes they were 1.99 on sale, but NO, I walked away!

I found this site and it seems much more manageable. 100Days of Real Food. I want to look at food as God intended. If it has 8 thousand ingredients, put it back. If I cannot pronounce or explain where the ingredient comes from, put it back. Check out her Meal Plans here: http://www.100daysofrealfood.com/our-free-meal-plans/

So here's the foods I'd like to change out:


NO MORE:                                                 INSTEAD EAT:
"fruit" gummy treats                                        Natural, organic gummies, in less amount
Candy at home                                              Fruit, Organic Gummies
Soda at home                                                Soda only bought while "out" (church, out to dinner, special
                                                                     treat)


Daily Must Eats: (adapted from site linked above)

• 2 Different Fruits/Veggies with EVERY meal (this will be hard and vary depending on how often I go to the store)

• Only coffee, water, and 1 serving of juice allowed for me. Water may be sweetened with Crystal Light Pure to make it easier on me. Coffee is stevia and light creamer.

• For kids: Limit 2 milks per day, for E slowly cutting back the amount of Nesquik until A) we run out B) he's off it completely, whatever comes first. 1 Juice per day for each boy, water the rest of day.***NOTE, since I wrote this blog post, E now drinks WHITE milk with NO Nesquik!***

• As much as I'd love to only buy locally raised, organic meats...it's just not available or in the budget. So I will instead: Make 2 red meat meals, 3 chicken/poultry meals, and the rest meatless or fish.

• No fried foods. This is fairly easy for us as the only thing I ever deep fry is sometimes chicken nuggets, so we'll limit that to a monthly meal. Being gluten free, makes this one easier.

• Fast food once per week. (Soda can be consumed this night.)

• No low fat, reduced fat versions of food. We already do that, I found most of the "light" versions of foods are full of chemicals. I'd rather reduce the amount of the full fat item than eat a subpar substitution. Don't get me started on margarine...

• 100% Whole Grain, this is a harder goal for us, being Gluten Free.  I will say this, whenever possible, if there is a high fiber/high grain gluten free version of a GF Item (i.e. bagels), I will choose that one when possible.

• Stop eating when full, very doable. I hate that "oh my God, I ate way too much" feeling. Blech. For my husband, not so easy.

• Limit refined sugars. I'm not saying "no refined sugars" as this blog does. I just think that's too much to ask. I think stevia, agave, honey, and even good ol' sugar are fine in small amounts.

• Limited food dyes. Just by cutting the fruit gummies this will help alot. I have KoolAid mixes on hand for emergencies but mostly they are used for my yarn dyeing, so no worries there! LOL

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I think if I can implement these suggestions, we will all feel a lot better. Will we slip up? I'm sure. Will we have days where we still feel bad? Of course. But I know that for example, both my boys have digestive issues on top of our need for the Gluten Free diet. How much better would that be if they ate better? I can't blame it on them, I am the one putting food on the table. I am the one stocking the fridge and pantry. So if I DO NOT stock certain items, then they will have no choice but to eat what's there.

My new motto...."Eat it or starve."

Here's to better health! I'll let you know how I do!
~~Amy

What Mama's Been Up To...

I admit...I take on too much...and things slip through my fingers...such as blogging. In my defense, I have stayed on top of Daily Handmade Picks!! I have help with the lovely Danyel of Crazy Socks Crochet helping me do picks. If you haven't checked it out, please do! We really aim to choose unique, quality, lovely pieces each day! One little jewel to feast your eyes on each day!

So, I've not been able to add any tutorials and such for a bit, I apologize! Just WHAT have I been doing?

Well, I've been continuing my Year of Living Frugally! It's going well, I sufficiently stocked up in Nov-Jan so that Feb/March required much less grocery shopping! Couponing, watching sales, stocking up, it really does work!

Also, my littlest one started 3 hour a day preschool early intervention. While that gives me a few precious hours, business has picked up and kept me busy. He is LOVING school, and for those that followed his story, his Autism is what I consider nearly 'cured'. If you didn't know he had it, you wouldn't even notice. Sure, he has meltdowns, and has his little obsessions that you have to work with, but he's three, and some of that is normal!! He's adjusted wonderfully to school, and his speech is doing fabulous! If not for the food issues we have, I'd consider him completely 'cured'. (I say cure, but I look at Autism as you would cancer...you may beat cancer and put it in remission but you never take away the fact that you had it and it could come back. I see Autism like that. If we gave him gluten, stopped his therapies, his symptoms would return.). So I feel very confident by the time he's in kindergarten or first grade, he will no longer need his IEP services and may be able to just need a 504 plan (for his sensory issues). He's doing wonderful, my little buddy!

His big brother is also doing well in school, learning to read and loves kindergarten. I can't believe the school year is almost OVER!! Where has it gone?? He's working hard to learn to ride a bike, and Daddy is working on that with him. :)

Personally, I've been busting my tail on my businesses, my handmade goodies. I thank everyone who takes the time to check out my shops, share my work and purchase my work! I truly enjoy what I do and can't imagine not doing it. Who knows what the future holds, but I hope I'm buried in fabric for a long time to come!! :)


I'm also continued my Operation Simplify! I've successfully purged the house several times, donating the items. I've even purged my supplies! (GASP!) I gave up making handmade soap for profit, as much as I loved it, I realize I just didn't have the time. I will soap some for my boys but has sold or is selling the rest of my supplies. If you need anything, please check out Destash City, I plan to list more there ASAP.

My Handmade Louisiana team is about to celebrate two years!! I can't believe it's been 2 years since Merry, Lisa and I sat in that coffee shop and created Handmade Louisiana!! Stop on by if you haven't lately, we have a lovely new blog author, Baby Deary who is helping me out a ton with the blog!

Overall, things are well, I am happy and the family and businesses are good! I pray each of you are having the same experiences and enjoying this life while we have it! Things are bad out there, life is scary, but I go to sleep each night safe in the belief that we are not alone, God is in control and I pray for all our safety and joy!

Stay tuned, April will be a busy month! It's Badge Reels' 1 year anniversary and since Earth Day is in April, Micro Mops will be having some goodies!!

Happy Spring!!~~
Amy

Three Years Ago Today...

my little man, Eli was born!  In contradiction to his big brother's birth...Eli's birth was quiet, calm, and actually quite pleasant. Life has never been the same since!! Going from 1 to 2 children is quite a change. As usual, his first months were a blur to me, but I remember he spent a LOT of time wrapped in a moby type wrap on my front! I lost track of how much food I dropped on his head...

Although Eli has Autism, I'd never change him. He's loving, usually quite happy, and how can you not love a kid who thinks farts and burps are hilarious??

It's been a wild ride, Eli, but I love you more today than yesterday, and the love and fun keeps on growing!!

Fall 2008 (9 mos old)

Dec. 2010, almost 3 yrs old!

Happy Birthday Eli!!! :)

Fall Back...into Hell...

The seasons they are a-changing. I LOVE this time of year....the falling back, the cooler weather, warm slippers, long pj's on tiny humans, sweaters, hot chocolate, football, fires, no hurricanes, pumpkins, turkeys, mommy wanting to drink because her child has lost his ever loving mind....

er what?

Yes, perhaps you mommies of children with Autism or other special needs are aware of this phenomenon. I do NOT have any data to back this up, but my son's therapists have told me he's not unique that when the weather changes, seasons change or even if a bad storm is approaching, their children on the spectrum go NUTS.  Children who were making fine progress may regress, others may have rampant mood swings, others may stim a lot more than before, and overall it just drives parents/therapists/the poor old lady at walmart INSANE.

Eli has taken the rampant mood swing route. If I did not know he was a nearly 3 yr old boy, I'd swear he was PMS'ing. We LITERALLY had this exchange this morning...

"HI MOMMY!" (happy as can be)
"Hi Eli!" (returning happiness)
"I...want...jerky" (fruit strips from target)
"Okay buddy!"

Mommy gets out jerky, unwraps it, hands it to Eli..

Commence meltdown of Chernobyl proportions. I take jerky away. Screams. I give back. Screams.

This continues over EVERY DECISION HE COULD MAKE DURING THE DAY.
Socks on. Screams.
Socks off. Screams.
Needs Diaper changed. Screams.
Clean diaper on..Screams.

God bless naps and daddy being home on Sunday...

Let's just pray he adjusts to the temp/season changes soon...we're stuck home ALL DAY tomorrow awaiting a UPS package I have to sign for. Oh the suspense...

~~Amy

Blog Flashback...

Taking a trip into the way back blog files and reposting this one from March 2010:
____________________
It is often hard to explain Autism to people because EVERYONE knows about it, but quite honestly, unless you know someone WITH it, it's really hard to describe. There are also lots of myth's and preconceived notions about Autism.

Here are some thoughts I had from my son's point of view.

~~~
I am blonde, beautiful, and happy.
I am two years old and love circles.
Don't bother arguing with me that two is too young to be diagnosed with Autism..
my Mommy took me to the best.

I may repeat your words but I don't really "Talk.". But I am not stupid.

I am a sensory seeker and love rough play..but don't assume my friends will. We are not all the same.
I am Autism.

I will scream when you cut my hair, take away my puzzle pieces and turn off Baby Einstein.
Sometimes you may leave a room and I won't notice.
Sometimes I will...and proceed to tear it apart until you return.
I am Autism.

You will get dirty looks from strangers who think I am just a bad kid having a meltdown and
you stink as a parent.
Go ahead..give them a dirty look back...I'm too busy having a meltdown to notice.
I am Autism.

I will eat bananas on Monday.
But not on Tuesday.
I may try the juice you give me...
but only if its red...
and in a green cup...
or I may just throw the darn thing down and fuss.
I am Autism.

I may sleep great, but  my friends may not.
Potty training may be a fantasy...
Simple errands may drive my mommy insane...
I am Autism.

But despite all that...
I am a child, and "A Person is a Person, No Matter How Small"
As Dr Seuss says (and I like Dr Seuss.)
I do love you, I do need you, and I do miss you when you're gone.
I may not run and hug you (or I may!) and I may not say your name,
but you know I'm in here, waiting for you to help me come out.

And I know you love me more than I will ever know.
I know it by hugs, kisses, and that we try it all again the next day.

We'll try therapies, we'll try games, toys, books--everything "THEY" say to do.
I'll try it all with you Mommy, because I know you know,
I am Autism.

And that is okay!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mommy here now...

I am 110% thankfully every day for my life. Eli is extremely high functioning and I remind myself that is a huge gift. He is not dying, he does not need surgeries or meds, and he DOES hug me, love me and look at me.

But some days those blessings are a curse. How can a child who can name colors, not say Mommy? How can he not call my name, his dad's or his brother's? How can we do a puzzle in peace, but when we go to the store we MUST go get a banana so he can hold it through the entire store? Why are some of the simplest tasks the hardest, but then the next day they'll be a breeze? How do you make sure your other more 'typical' child (with issues of his own) is given the same attention as his Autistic brother?

People have asked me, are you sure you're done having kids? When I say yes, and they ask why, I reply, "I have one son with sensory issues and one with Autism". They often say, "so?"

Obviously those people have never spent any reasonable amount of time dealing with even a high functioning Autistic child. They have never had to wonder, will I be able to potty train my child? Will he function okay in school? Will he be able to work one day? Those questions don't go through most people's minds because at first glance, Eli is adorable, he says colors and shapes and he (most of the time) listens to simple commands.

But for the good days there are bad, and sometimes it makes me think. I know I do the best I can, and I have faith he will continue to improve. But the downside of him being high functioning, is it's easy to forget that we STILL need to "fight" for him to continue to grow..it's easy to become complacent. Going to the grocery store, park, bank or what not should NOT be a drama..but it is...and until the day it isn't...I will keep working...fighting for the 'real' Eli to keep coming out.

I hope this makes you think again about any Autistic children (or any special needs) children you may know. Please don't ever judge these families until you have walked a mile in their shoes. And just because it LOOKS like a mom may have it all under control...it could be an act... maybe you can just lend a hand...hold a diaper bag...make a dinner...do SOMETHING for a mom who needs a helping hand.

Thanks for letting me vent my friends! :)
~~Amy

It's the Most WONDERFUL time of the year...........

BACK TO SCHOOL!!! Yes I LOVE back to school time! For the past two years Harrison has attended Head Start, which I was delighted in as I am a former Head Start teacher and firmly believe in the program. He is absolutely a better developed child because of Head Start. Many of his sensory issues have subsided due to his time in the classroom already. 

Naturally, I'm excited and nervous for my "baby" going off to kindergarten. I'm also excited for me. I have always LOVED back to school. I don't know what it is about the new supplies, the possibilities, the education, the joy and anticipation of a 'new year'. I actually been enjoying the preparation, the supply shopping, picking out his little bookbag, etc. I have no idea if he'll love school like I did, or come to hate it as his daddy did. Hopefully I can help mold him into a good student who does enjoy it and can help him learn what he wants to learn.

Yes, I am looking forward to some time alone. :) I do have Eli at home, but any mom will tell you the difference between 1 and 2 (3,4,5) kids is all the difference in the world. I enjoy that alone time with Eli because it gives him the same solo time Harrison received by being the first born. Eli also needs a lot more time with me so we can work on his therapies to keep him moving on kicking Autism's butt. 

Eli himself may start school at least part time in January when he turns 3, which I really look forward to because he absolutely needs to be around other kids so he can learn the social cues so absent with Autism. But until then, he and I will enjoy some solo time. :) I will substitute when Head Start needs, they know they can't be rid of me :) 

And if you need some nifty stuff for Back to School, then hop on over to my shops!! :) I have back to school ponytails for the girls at Mama's Little Monkeys, nap mat covers at Nap Mat Covers and even some badge reel ID Holders for your favorite teacher at Badge Reels.

Back to School Ponytails

Back to School  Badge Reel

Michael Miller Nap Mat Cover

Back to School RIBBON Clothespin Magnets

And hey, even if you're kids are ready for school or you homeschool, you still have to keep your house clean, right? So check out my lovely shop Micro Mops full of green, clean, and organizing items to keep your home healthy and happy!

Happy Schooling Everyone!!! :)

Amy

Playing with my Webcam and Cleaning my House...

So, since I farted around during most of Eli's nap playing with my webcam:

Ok, don't ask...I don't know what I was doing but that webcam was fun.

Anyhoo, since I farted around doing this, I had to clean in the afternoon. I got myself in a tizzy because it was just well...you'll see:

The Craft Room: Still Looks like this...

The boys room: still looks like this:

Living room: BEFORE!

The Living Room AFTER!

Annnnnnnnd I cleaned my kitchen!

Ahhhh it's so nice...while it lasts...which isn't long with two small children!

So we treated ourselves to a snowball (for your northerners, snowcone) and when we came back home, we noticed our Parish had put up the Autistic Child sign I requested on TUESDAY!!! Can I get a what what for tax dollars actually at work???? I mean, I was shocked. I thought it would take weeks. I do wish they had more variety, perhaps one that said  "Slow Down: Autistic Child" but I'm happy with anything. There are maniacs who go flying down my street at 40 mph (its 25mph) and perhaps that sign will slow them down just a tad..even if just to read it! Thank you St. Tammany Parish!

So that's my Wednesday...how was your day??

Don't forget to enter my giveaway for one of my Badge Reels in this Guess How Many Buttons Giveaway! Click HERE! :)

~~Amy

Adventures in ABA Therapy: Part One

So, we're 1.5 weeks into our ABA therapy. A little background if you're not familiar, my 2.5 yr old was diagnosed with Autism at 18 months. He's very high functioning and making leaps and bounds.

First off let me say, I am incredibly thankful for this opportunity. We were blessed enough to find a therapist in training who needs to complete her hours and is generously working with Eli for free! Granted, most ABA therapy is 15 or more hours a week, but I'll take what I can get! Mrs. M comes once a week and so far I'm happy! We had a good session last week. His homework for the week was:

1. When he pulls on me to lead me to what he wants, he must point and then give a verbal request, preferably, "I want _____."

2. Point at things he's excited about.

How'd he do? Well, he's done great!! For example:

He has seemed to gotten the knack of pointing and has pointed many times at what he wants or something he loves like school buses, flags and cars.

He's also done this several times,  lead me to the fridge/pantry, pointed to what he wants and then I asked, "what do you want?" and he said, "I want Milk!"!! Once he walked to the pantry and UNPROMPTED he said, "I want fish!" (swedish fish).

Last night as we were going to bed and I walked out the room and said, "Nite nite boys" He called out, "Nite Nite Mommy! Nite Nite Daddy!". Pretty darn awesome I tell you.

I am very confident that in time, when he's in school no one will ever know he had a diagnosis of Autism. In my opinion, this won't mean he never had it. The way I look at Autism is this, its much like cancer. You get a diagnosis and you work on a plan. Sometimes, you can put the cancer in remission and live a normal life...sometimes you can't. Either way, it never takes away the diagnosis...you had cancer. Now you're just living in remission.

That's how I view Autism. Eli will always be autistic. But with the right therapies, gluten free diet and behavior modificiations, he can live a full life in "remission" of Autism. I hope that makes sense.

So, we shall see how this week goes! I'm very happy to have made my decision to stay home with him and not work full time. I think we'll get a lot done in his progress so he can be more ready for the Preschool Early Intervention school he'll be eligible for in January.

I'll keep you updated! :)
~~Amy

This is a big deal, he hated coloring just a few months ago. :)

Content Decision....

I am sooooo happy to report I've made a decision...if you recall I started a new job back in February that was a temp position through the end of May. The job was among a company I formerly worked for and very much enjoyed. It worked out great that I could work at Harrison's school and my mother in law watched Eli.

Well, the time has come to make a decision...keep on working or stay home? After a short deliberation I decided to stay home! It's not even decided yet if the position I had would be returning or not, but that's okay with me, I'd already made up my mind. It wasn't an incredibly easy decision, I do love the job, it's in social services so I got to work with children but help families also. And I greatly enjoyed my coworkers. They were a blast and made me feel very welcome!

But I have to be real, my family is most important. Eli is only 2.5 yrs old. He has Autism, albeit high functioning, but he's just begun ABA therapy and that is extremely important to helping 'retrain' his brain. The problem is, it takes a lot to DO ABA Therapy and we feel its best that I be home to follow through with what the therapist says to do. He's already made great strides in it in a week's time!! His 'homework' this week was when he pulls me to something, I'm to get him to point and say "I want milk" or whatever it is. Well we've been doing that over and over, and earlier tonite he walked up to the pantry, pointed and said, "I Want Fish!" (Swedish Fish) without me prompting him at ALL. HUUUUGE Step for him!! He's been talking more and it's like he knows that it's on like Donkey Kong and I'm going to stay on top of this!!

So I am very happy with my decision, very content. My online handmade businesses are doing good to the point I can have a little bit of spending money for me (okay for more fabric buying...) and I enjoy doing it! The challenge of new projects, the comfort in making familiar ones, are all reasons I like creating handmade. So the beauty of staying home allows me to get that stuff done while Eli naps.

Harrison also starts kindergarten this year! (YIKES!) I'd like to be involved in his school. When Eli turns three in January there is a chance he'll go to school full time also. Perhaps then I can revisit the work situation. But right now, I'm happy to substitute from time to time, do my handmade thang, and be a MOMMY! :)

So I guess you'll be hearing more from me than the past few months!!
~~Amy

I Am Autism....

It is often hard to explain Autism to people because EVERYONE knows about it, but quite honestly, unless you know someone WITH it, it's really hard to describe. There are also lots of myth's and preconceived notions about Autism.

Here are some thoughts I had from my son's point of view.

~~~
I am blonde, beautiful, and happy.
I am two years old and love circles.
Don't bother arguing with me that two is too young to be diagnosed with Autism..
my Mommy took me to the best.

I may repeat your words but I don't really "Talk.". But I am not stupid.

I am a sensory seeker and love rough play..but don't assume my friends will. We are not all the same.
I am Autism.

I will scream when you cut my hair, take away my puzzle pieces and turn off Baby Einstein.
Sometimes you may leave a room and I won't notice.
Sometimes I will...and proceed to tear it apart until you return.
I am Autism.

You will get dirty looks from strangers who think I am just a bad kid having a meltdown and
you stink as a parent.
Go ahead..give them a dirty look back...I'm too busy having a meltdown to notice.
I am Autism.

I will eat bananas on Monday.
But not on Tuesday.
I may try the juice you give me...
but only if its red...
and in a green cup...
or I may just throw the darn thing down and fuss.
I am Autism.

I may sleep great, but  my friends may not.
Potty training may be a fantasy...
Simple errands may drive my mommy insane...
I am Autism.

But despite all that...
I am a child, and "A Person is a Person, No Matter How Small"
As Dr Seuss says (and I like Dr Seuss.)
I do love you, I do need you, and I do miss you when you're gone.
I may not run and hug you (or I may!) and I may not say your name,
but you know I'm in here, waiting for you to help me come out.

And I know you love me more than I will ever know.
I know it by hugs, kisses, and that we try it all again the next day.

We'll try therapies, we'll try games, toys, books--everything "THEY" say to do.
I'll try it all with you Mommy, because I know you know,
I am Autism.

And that is okay!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mommy here now...

I am 110% thankfully every day for my life. Eli is extremely high functioning and I remind myself that is a huge gift. He is not dying, he does not need surgeries or meds, and he DOES hug me, love me and look at me.

But some days those blessings are a curse. How can a child who can name colors, not say Mommy? How can he not call my name, his dad's or his brother's? How can we do a puzzle in peace, but when we go to the store we MUST go get a banana so he can hold it through the entire store? Why are some of the simplest tasks the hardest, but then the next day they'll be a breeze? How do you make sure your other more 'typical' child (with issues of his own) is given the same attention as his Autistic brother?

People have asked me, are you sure you're done having kids? When I say yes, and they ask why, I reply, "I have one son with sensory issues and one with Autism". They often say, "so?"

Obviously those people have never spent any reasonable amount of time dealing with even a high functioning Autistic child. They have never had to wonder, will I be able to potty train my child? Will he function okay in school? Will he be able to work one day? Those questions don't go through most people's minds because at first glance, Eli is adorable, he says colors and shapes and he (most of the time) listens to simple commands.

But for the good days there are bad, and sometimes it makes me think. I know I do the best I can, and I have faith he will continue to improve. But the downside of him being high functioning, is it's easy to forget that we STILL need to "fight" for him to continue to grow..it's easy to become complacent. Going to the grocery store, park, bank or what not should NOT be a drama..but it is...and until the day it isn't...I will keep working...fighting for the 'real' Eli to keep coming out.

I hope this makes you think again about any Autistic children (or any special needs) children you may know. Please don't ever judge these families until you have walked a mile in their shoes. And just because it LOOKS like a mom may have it all under control...it could be an act... maybe you can just lend a hand...hold a diaper bag...make a dinner...do SOMETHING for a mom who needs a helping hand.

Thanks for letting me vent my friends! :)
~~Amy

Fabric Therapy....

Ahhhh. Troubles? What troubles?? It's been a long week due to some not-worthy-of-discussing-because-it's-so-stupid online troubles and I have had quite fun easing my mind with fabric therapy. I began this year with Operation Simplify and have been enjoying it. I've put Fleur De Ink on an extended vacation, and have resigned from Handmade News. It is nothing personal to HMN, I actually loved writing for HMN, but something has to give!! Eli has begun to demand more attention. We're on a waiting list for a new autism pilot program that will involve more therapy and he's already getting better by leaps and bounds. (I swear he said "Who Dat" today, but it might have been wishful thinking...Black and Gold, baby, Black and Gold.)

But I digress, so my family has always been the most important thing in my life and my little handmade shops are just something I do for me. But I will always gladly toss it all if my kids need it. So by closing up Fleur De Ink, quitting HMN and dropping my Artfire Shop (side note, big sale going on!) down to basic, I can devote more time to my boys. I want to do things that are fun for me. I've got no patience or time for things/people that stress me out--so OUT they go! (Not that HMN was stressful, I loved doing it..but deadlines are still deadlines! Perhaps one day I can return as I was so graciously told I could!)

So what did I do this week for fun since I had my creativity sapped from me for a short time? I had some fabric therapy of COURSE! In the forms of Michael Miller and Riley Blake. Nom nom nom. Fabric.
I have to impatiently wait for it to come in, but still...mmmm fabric.

Michael Miller finds!

And some Riley Blake:

Mmm that makes everything all better.

AND I found a bakery locally that sells gluten free king cake. That's right life, BRING IT ON. I shall have cake.