Why Being a Mom Kicks Arse....

In honor of mother's day, I'm reposting this! I hope every mommy out there has a fantastic day!

Here are some reasons why being a mom kicks arse...

1. It builds intelligence. Clearly, it takes an upper level intelligence to sort a pile of 56 baby socks, all in similar color schemes.

2. It fosters creativity. See, a childless person would not necessarily have the creativity to know that peas and carrots are not just peas and carrots. They are, in fact, ogre booger balls and orange alien space ships.

3. It is a nifty way to have fun. There is no other time in your life when it is acceptable to do these things: Go to Chuck E. Cheese, play Barbies, color, watch Lady and the Tramp (and cry), rock out to The Imagination Movers, or swing at the park. Okay, well you could do these things as a childless person, but with children, the chances of you being ostracized by society is far less.

4. It is endlessly changing, thus building your ability to roll with the punches. Plans with your spouse? NOPE, someones puking. Need a hair cut? NOPE, dance recital. But, somehow, everything gets done and you learn how to make things happen in a pinch! (Shhh, no one needs to know your hair is out of a bottle.

5. It is a wonderful excuse! Invited to a party you REALLY don't want to attend? Not a problem. Blame it on the kids!! Saying someone is sick, has baseball practice, has leprosy, is allergic to shag carpeting is almost always foolproof....just keep track of your 'fibs.'

6. You suddenly learn how valuable the little things are and learn the real value of money. 50.00 toy from Grandma. Ignored. 35.00 onesie from Auntie Kim? Puked on. .25c bag of Cheerios in your diaper bag while stuck in traffic? PRICELESS.

7. You learn how really STUPID and PETTY the things that worried you when you had no children are. Suddenly, what your next purse purchase will be, who is sleeping with who, and what new vodka is on the market is not really important anymore. Upon entering parenthood, a whole slew of 'grown up' worries hits you--health insurance, life insurance, safest car, vaccines, good pediatricians, college costs, how much a bottle of vodka is, etc.

Okay, so the vodka remains important no matter what stage of life you are in.

8. You have instant companionship--for awhile! Now this is not to say you should turn your back on your spouse or your friends upon becoming a mother. And remember, children do not need you to be their friends, they need you to be their parent. HOWEVER, how incredibly awesome is it to be having one of THOSE days, and be given a big smooch by the human being YOU brought forth into this world? And if you play your cards right...get past the scary teen years, and do your job...you WILL have a friend in your child---when THEY are an adult and can appreciate what you went through for them!

9. You get to dress them up. Okay, so it's petty but come on...dressing up babies is SOOO much more fun than dressing up animals. And please...stop dressing up animals. I beg of you.

10. And finally... no matter how your day goes, how you may have screwed up, what you said wrong....at the end of the day, you get to tuck in and kiss the most beautiful creature(s) in the world and know that YOU are their mommy and that is that--no matter HOW you came to be their mommy..you are and that is yours alone!

I think the perks far outweigh the sleeplessness, belly bloop and expense, don't you?





Amy...proud mommy


All Text Copyright Amy Dutsch 2009
Feel free to share...but give me the credit I deserve!