Thursday, January 28, 2010

Truth Hurts...

I want to apologize right now for the length this will likely be. I'd also like to state up front I do not allow annoymous comments on my blog, so if you have to say something I suggest you be brave enough to say it with your own name as I always do on blogs.

A little backstory...

Several weeks ago a familar seller on Artfire was in the forums AGAIN asking for help. This does not bother me. As admin on several teams I am used to helping people out and offerring advice when they ask for it. Sometimes they like it, sometimes they don't. I aim to never be mean or hateful but if you ask for feedback you better be able to hande it.

So this seller, who I'll not name because she has been dragged through the mud enough, has had multiple issues with learning the in's and out's of selling online. I am by NO means an expert at this, but I am familiar enough with forums. Of course I've said MANY a thing I regret online and probably will again.

I should also say I am not friends with this seller per say but I have nothing against her. She's a nice person who just needed some guidance which she asked for from MANY people. the thread this seller was in was getting ugly. I usually avoided all threads this seller was in for some reasons you'll see soon enough. But it was getting nasty. So I commented that everyone should go in their own corners and take a break and this seller should also step back. (This seller has said she is disabled.) I suggested the seller take a break, reread and THINK before she continues to post in the forums. (She has a history of flying off the handle and yelling, crying, and getting upset in the forums.)

Apparently, I might as well have hacked off the arms of an infant and sacrificed them to Allah because I got raped for that comment.

By who? The lovely Pussdaddy of course. And YUP I will link to her blog because she's just the kind of person who will read this and go, "Well if you can write about me you link to me." So HERE YA GO:

I don't feel like drudging through her numerous posts of insanity, but essentially I was told that telling this seller to THINK is the same as throwing a paraplegic in the water and telling them to swim.

Here is why that is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

*I am a mother first and foremost. I would never tell a disabled person anything I thought was harmful to them. Not only am I mother but I have an autistic son so I KNOW how it feels to have a child that is not 'Normal'. I know the looks, the ridicule, the angst.
*I am also a former teacher, primarily of special education early childhood students. To say I would torment a disabled person is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever seen.
*Telling someone who reports to be disabled to "THINK" is NOT hateful. Saying that is an example of WHAT Is wrong with our society. Why can no one be held accountable for anything? Why is everything someone elses fault? She is's not THAT big of a deal. This seller has run her online shop just fine for over a year and the disability thing only seems to get in the way when she wants it to. I'm not saying this to be ugly to her. She can type in forums, albeit with typos--but most of us do that! She can create beautiful handmade items, she can package them, ship them and handle all of that (at least I am assuming she can handle all this because she's run the shop for a year). SO WHY is it horrible to tell her to PROOFREAD and THINK before she posts?

Do you know how many times a day I tell my son with sensory processing disorder to USE HIS BRAIN? A LOT. Because for him, simple decisions are not easy. But that is NOT an excuse! I will not allow him to use his delay to get off easy on things and not use common sense in day to day life. If you think this makes me a bad mother then so be it. My main job is to raise self sufficient boys who are happy, not cowtow to idiots on the web.

So I will not beat that dead horse. I am not concerned about what Pussdaddy thinks of me. But I felt like not speaking up on my own blog is ignoring a horrifying situation that is growing by the minute.

I have commented on a few of PD's blog posts if you wish to go look, I cannot recall which ones but I always commented with my own screenname, mamaslittlemonkeys.

Moving on....

Let's clear a few things up:

*I do not like Pussdaddy. In fact I find what she does ALL day long to be a deplorable use of a human mind. I find her language, cursing, slander, and hateful tones FAR more dangerous than anything she CLAIMS people have done.
*That being said, I am at heart a libertarian. That means I believe in PD's right to blog about what she wants within the scope of the law. I do not think she should get to SLANDER people but it is very hard to prove that when it's done. I do give her a smidge of respect for speaking her mind, however twisted it may be. Part of being a GROWN UP is allowing others to have their opinions. It does not mean I think PD is right on 99% of what she posts (much of which I have no idea what the hell she's talking about because I'm not privy to the situation) but I will absolutely agree she has a right to speak her mind. She has also on a rare occasion admitted she was wrong and that takes guts. I also respect that she gave ME respect for posting on her blog in my real name. That is where my respect ends.
*I do however think if Pussdaddy is all she thinks she's cracked up to be, she'd be more open about who she really is. But in reality, I'm sure she's fearful of the backlash she would receive.

Pussdaddy is a wimp. Plain and simple. She spends her time ranting about "about all sorts of unimportant, mundane crap that probably isn't any of my damn business, but is put out there for public perusal by people as stupid or maybe even stupider than myself." (per her profile)

That sentence right there speaks for itself. Anyone who pushes themselves into everyone else's business obviously has too much time on their hands and nothing creative to do.

I do want to take a moment to go on record about myself with some things:

1. I have never voted anyone down in the Artfire forums. I don't plan to.
2. I said from the get go, that the new forums were a horrifying mistake and it would go horribly wrong. I am not active in the maven's anymore so I was not involved in planning the forums. If I had been I would have said this is a horrible idea. 
3. I am not friends with everyone PD has blogged about but I am a few.
4. I am not part of some AF forums clique. Where that idea came from is beyond me. I am only "tight" with a few people on a variety of venues.
5. Being on Pussdaddys blog has not done a thing wrong for my business because anyone with half a brain can take one look at her vile blog and see that anything she says is likely half truths and opinion.
6. I am not scared of Pussdaddy, her blog or any of the multiple personalities who are such great PD fans that they post anonymously. If anything ever got said about me that was a valid threat, I would handle it as the law allowed.
7. Being pussdaddied does not have a thing to do with who I am as a person. Anyone who knows me knows I am a decent person, has worked with a variety of charities, and am a Christian person. I sleep well at nite.

8. I have never been muted anywhere ever.

While her blog is a waste of space on the are a lot of things in life. There are a lot of things in life I can't do a damn thing about. And you know what, in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't really matter.

I set out at first to write about this because I went through the stages of being "Pussdaddied".
1. Anger
2. Denial
3. Anger again
4. Bargaining
5. Anger again when she posts more untruths about you.
6. Anger again when she railroads other innocent people into the ground.
7. Peace when you realize that the furry little thing doesn't deserve your time.

I am now at the peace stage. I am not pleased that some of my friends have been talked about on her blog, mostly in ways that she knows NOTHING about. The names and words she uses alone are horrifying but again, her legal right to do so. And there is really nothing I can do about it. If at any point I am slandered against where the law can be involved, I might persue it. But I don't think that will happen. I think deep down Pussdaddy respects that I had the nerve to argue with her non-anonymously and she needs us for fodder. She cannot think of things to say WITHOUT bashing people, so how can she blog if she pushes us so far that she's legally bound NOT to talk about people? That would not serve her purpose...whatever that is.

The thing is this, it's all really sad. My sons autism was even dragged around in blog comments because I stood up for myself. The SAME PEOPLE who said I was tormenting a disabled girl then proceeded to wish my son is abused like that so I can see. How does that make ANY SENSE? IF you were TRULY doing what you were doing for the greater good, why would you wish my child any harm?

Also, if the person you are supposed to be helping by blogging all this ASKS YOU TO STOP and you continue to do so, how can you claim were trying to help? At that point it becomes what it is--Pussdaddy looking for attention and drama.

Her blog is what it is, a horrifying Train Wreck that lacks the class of other snarky blogs. She is a wanna be, has been, sad woman. I do not feel anger...I feel sadness for her.

I have already said my apologies to anyone who may have been hurt by anything I did, whether intentional or not.

What bothers me more is this, that I wasted so much time WORRYING about all this when there are 50k people dead in Haiti, an economy on the brink of collapse, constitutional rights being taken away every day, and no cure for the 100's of deadly diseases in our world. WHY did I bother even THINKING about a ridiculous blog with a few hundred followers? I could have spent that time creatively, or packaging up supplies for Haiti, or working on my son's therapy.

That is why, as much as I love the friends who are being abused by Pussdaddy, I will try to stay out of things. I will support you no doubt, as you have supported me, but I will not even look at her blog anymore. It's not worth the time or brain cells. And also, if you are a fan of Pussdaddy I've probably already deleted you off any social networking sites we may share.

It's time to get back to what is family, my creating, and helping others when I can. My friend had her memorial service for her 2 year old this past Saturday. That child lived his life in and out of the hospitals, surgeries, and more. He lived in pain I cannot even imagine. To think that I wasted one brain cell on Pussdaddy when I could have spent that time praying for that little boys family is something I cannot take back.

To those who are continually tormented by Pussdaddy, I feel your pain, I do. But do NOT let it get to you! No matter what you say, what you do, someone will always be around to twist it into what they want. As long as you do what is right in YOUR heart and mind, you can rest easy knowing you did the right thing.

If you want a boost, a hug, anything, I am here for you! But I am putting this to rest, buried where it should be, in a chapter of my life I don't want to go back to. Pussdaddy will likely blog this. I know that. I only ask she has the nerve to actually copy the whole thing and not chicken peck out the parts she wants. Because honestly, if anyone can read this and still think I was ever trying to hurt someone, then they are not anyone I want to know.

If you decide to comment, that is entirely up to you. Do not feel you have to. If you do so and you disagree with what I said, that is also fine to but I will delete comments with nasty language, insults or hateful talk.

I do not want the comments to become a bashing of Pussdaddy either...that does not serve MY purpose of moving on and being at peace with everything. So I will also delete those comments also. Any hateful comments to ANYONE will be deleted because I will not allow that on my blog

If this has taught us anything it's that Pussdaddy does show us we need to take responsibility for our actions, words and be very careful what we say. Even if we THINK we didn't say anything wrong, you might have hurt someone.

So Pussdaddy..that's that. I apologize if anything I said in THIS post hurts your feelings, but you know as well as I do that if you can dish it out , you can take it.

And that folks is a wrap!



PussDaddy said...

Thanks for linking me!


PussDaddy said...

What if some one at school told your kid to "Stop and just focus?"


Amy said...

PD, I would ABSOLUTELY be okay with that. Because again, I believe, NOTHING wrong with telling my son to stop and focus. In fact I tell him that ALL the time. Not to be demeaning but because I know, that is he concentrates, he CAN focus and he can do great things, just as I believe that seller can. She knows that I never meant her any disrespect and that is all that matters to me concerning that. Thank you for your comments.

In fact, in many instances, using phrases like "stop and just focus" is a common event because it is part of the therapy used to TEACH the child to focus their thoughts and make decisions for themselves.
Again, unless you are in this sort of thing every day, you wouldn't know that.

Thank you PD for not being retaliatory. (however you spell that!)

creativehaven said...

not sure if I'd thank her yet Mama....she may as soon as updates her blog.

I also commend you for not letting your child use his disability as a crutch to never do anything in life worthwhile. Too many parents baby them and they never stand a chance at accomplishing anything. I have a 22 yr old brother, and my Mother babied him. He has nothing, and I wonder if he ever will because of it.
~~April aka Creative Haven

TiLT said...

I have one, maybe two things...
1 - this is why I lurve you!!

and 2 - I am grateful when my son is told (nicely) to just stop & focus - it is a tactic we use here...advocated by his therapists. He's more of a PPSD than Autism tho'...similar spectrum...he just dips himself in from time to time.
Wish the STOP part would have worked b4 he went barreling into the bathroom, tripped over the step stool & smacked his forehead on the blood or concussion though - phew :P

Glad you finally released & washed your hands of it...Now how many monkeys can one mama make before midnight w/o this on her shoulder? :)

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry to hear of your friends loss.. that is very saddening.. I will pray for their family and yours ... you guys need time to heal from something as traumatic as that...

also, closure is good... I hope this helps give you the peace you hoped for.

And off the record, your doing a great job with your boys...

Danyel said...

I heart you. Your honesty & opinions are refreshing. I really have no idea what all the "drama" is about, nor do I care to get involved... but good for you for holding your own.


wlstarn said...

"Do you know how many times a day I tell my son with sensory processing disorder to USE HIS BRAIN? A LOT. Because for him, simple decisions are not easy. But that is NOT an excuse! I will not allow him to use his delay to get off easy on things and not use common sense in day to day life. If you think this makes me a bad mother then so be it. "
You're not a bad mom. And we will ALL be grateful that you told him to think things through in about a dozen years when he wants to drive!

PussDaddy said...

One thing I can say is that at least you have the balls to post stuff in your real name, which I do respect.


Amy said...

Thanks PD, I will not hide behind anon comments unless absolutely necessary!! See, I am happy to live in a world where we agree to disagree! Funny thing is, if most of your blog wasn't so darn MEAN I could prob be a 'friend'...because I enjoy some snark to a point! But, again, I have no personal problem with you, absolutely 110% will fight for your right to say what you wish on your blog because THAT is what I believe in--everyone being true to themselves for what THEY believe in..even if I don't agree!!! :)

Now everyone go donate your coffee money to Haiti or something and leave the world a little nicer than you left it! :)


Stitches In Cotton said...

You are 1 classy lady, a great mother, and a true friend.

Nothing else matters and I'm glad you have gotten to the peace part of your process.


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