I miss you. Every day. Although life keeps me pretty darn busy and there are many days where I sort of 'forget' you are gone, I don't ever REALLY forget. It just gets easier with time. I cannot believe it's been almost 10 years since you died. It feels like a lifetime ago. A lot has changed since you left....I graduated college (the same day, MawMaw died. Yeah, sucks I know, Mom.) I got married, and have two beautiful boys. They never knew you but I'll make sure one day they know about you.
In a way I'm grateful you left when you did, you were so sick. I know your body couldn't take much more and any more time would have just caused you more pain. But that doesn't make it any easier. I'll also never be able to turn back the clock and say all the things I should have said. How I was sorry for being a bratty teenager, for our fights, for our angst. I know how you had mental health issues and that you didn't mean to hurt me the times you did. People make mistakes. I forgive you. I hope you forgive me.
But what I remember are the silly times. The times you were goofy with me, the times we made each other laugh. The endless games of Sorry, Uno and Boggle! :) I remember you letting me brush your hair, dress you up and do all the girly things you hated to do.
I know one day we'll be together again and I know you are proud of the woman I've become. 21 seems like so long ago but I know that when you died you knew I was safe, happy and would be okay.
I miss you mom. Every day. Happy Mother's Day, Mama.
Sharon Lea Dietz