I think I get it now. I think I understand why this girl disconnected break is so hard. I think I understand why taking a break from most social networking is becoming harder every day.
I NEED to vent. I NEED instant gratification. I NEED feedback. I NEED to hear I'm not a horrible person, that tomorrow is another day, have a martini, whatever platitudes your friends near and far tell you when you're having a crappy day. I miss that. Horribly.
My life is absolutely not hard, especially difficult or made-for-tv-movie worthy. (Okay, parts of my childhood may have been tv movie worthy, but that's for another time....)
So why do I deserve the right to vent, I wonder? My child is not dying of cancer. My husband has not left me for another woman (or man.). We are not about to lose our house in foreclosure. We are all relatively healthy, wealthy (in relative terms) and happy.....so the need I have to vent and complain also at the same time makes me feel horribly inadequate, ungrateful and stupid.
But still, I cannot resist that urge. Take today for example. Our oldest got to spend the night at a close friend's house (we're all family friends.). And he had a good time as expected. Now, he's been giving me a LOT of lip lately, bad attitude and in particular, being ungrateful and unappreciative. But, he was out of the house, and although I enjoyed the time of having just one tiny human to attend to, I missed him.
So we go to pick him up, first thing he said is, "I don't want to go home." Now, I kinda sloughed that off because we ALL did that growing up when we went over to a friend's house. Grass is greener sorta thing, you know.
Still I got hugs and we had a relatively nice visit with friends, where he pretty much behaved other than the usual whining about having to eat dinner. (The child would exist on gummy bears if I let him.) So it's time to go. Commence meltdowns. Now, I did give him slack knowing that he went to bed late but still got up at dawn like he always does. I took that into consideration.
But he's still so damn frustrating. The whining, the crying, the fussing, the ARGUING (be quiet everyone who knows me personally...yeah yeah yeah, it's like looking in a mirror, I KNOW. My older siblings: Shut it.) This kid should be a lawyer, I tell you. He was all upset because his little brother has a special car toy at home that we got for E because he FINALLY ate his 30 healthy foods (also, a horrible eater.) So he got to pick out a special toy. H just was not down with this. He just cannot understand that he doesn't get a toy every time E does (and vice versa.) I tried reminding him how he got special things when he hit milestones, and about the fact that he had JUST spent the night with his friend just like he wanted to!! THAT was a special treat.
Nope, not good enough. Somehow...someway, this child has become spoiled rotten. So now, I'm stuck, now I've got to fix this (which I'm not sure how it totally GOT Like this because E is not this way, and we're not exactly parents who don't say "NO" a lot.) Still, I'm stuck. Feeling like a worthless, stupid, useless mother who's own child doesn't even want her. I'm moping over my martini right now...
and I can't go on facebook to whine about it. THAT is what I miss. I generally do not randomly bitch and moan on my personal update (at least I try not to because that drama aggravates me.) But, I do have private groups of friends (mostly fellow moms) who totally get it and that is where I vent. But, I can't do that.
So I sit here...and it festers. And THAT my friends is what I'm learning the most as my disconnect enters the homestretch.
I do not NEED facebook, twitter, plurk, cafemom, craftforum or any other social networking/forum. But I WANT it. I LIKE that I can connect with siblings 3k miles away at no cost. I LIKE that I can quickly in one fell swoop update myself on all my friends lives. Sure, a huge chunk of my facebook friends are people I've never laid eyes on in real life, but so what? They still support my endeavours, they laugh with me, cry with me, and share their own lives with me. Perhaps we found each other through Etsy, Artfire, handmade life, music, gluten free life, autism, or what have you...but we found each other. We're friends.
And I miss you all, I really do.
Now, I wonder how many actually READ this...that's another story. I know life is busy. And that is one reason social networking works.....we can connect in an instant. Whether you're a morning person or a night person, you can find your friends, check in, and move on. Sure, it's not true face time interaction, but it's SOMETHING. It's better than being closed off from the world.
I thought this experiment would give me more time, less stress, and more time with "real life" friends. My in person interactions stayed roughly the same....because although I was not checking online as much, I still had two boys to keep from killing each other, a new dog to take care of, a home and a business to run! Yet now, I can't have my quick, end of the day check in, laugh, funny pics, whatever, with friends!
My friend Celeste over on our blog, Real Housewives of NOLA gets it too! Read about it here. http://realhousewivesofnola.com/2011/06/22/oh-how-i-city-of-wonder-how-you-get-your-farmville-growing-while-sending-hearts/
Enough bitching, time to go drink my martini....Day 21 over.
~~Amy
The Hesitant Homeschooler....Mama's Little Monkeys
Showing posts with label social neworking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label social neworking. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Thursday, June 16, 2011
girl disconnected....I. Need. To. Connect.
Ok... I'm starting to lose it. It's only day 16. How can I do 14 more days of this?
I REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAALLLLYYY miss it. I thought I was cool with it, keeping myself busy but I didn't realize just how much at least once check in a day helps. I checked Facebook to check messages (sidebar folks, you CAN email me at mamaslittlemonkeys@yahoo.com if you need to get in touch.) and ooooh, it was like meeting a drug dealer in a dark alley. I so cheated and went through my notifications real quick.
I'm getting some instant gratification in the fact that I've cheated and played online games. (Julie Lamm...your arse is mine one day in Words with Friends. Are you cheating???) Ok, so I caved. I tended to my farms, zoo and bakery on that darn Ipad. I admit it. I'm human. Leave me alone.
I also broke down and got on twitter (other than auto posts) because I cracked open the new Marc Broussard album (which I faithfully bought like a true fan, even though I already had the album early release!!) and DUDE, a Twitter friend over in Mississippi got an album liner shoutout!!! How COOL is that?? Go check out www.twitter.com/redefiningme, she's a great gal and recovering from surgery....tell her mama sent you :) And get your behind over to Marc's site and take a listen. You won't regret it.
Sooooo, I'm shaking...I'm ready to just straight up get back online but I'm trying to stay strong!!
On the homefront: Eli's potty training is going well....say a prayer...today will be the first nap in underwear.....
School starts August 8th. I think I shall purchase a spa gift card for the teachers....just as an appreciation for taking over what I just mentally cannot.....
Ok....I'm off to have a martini and play Sims. Don't judge...
I REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAALLLLYYY miss it. I thought I was cool with it, keeping myself busy but I didn't realize just how much at least once check in a day helps. I checked Facebook to check messages (sidebar folks, you CAN email me at mamaslittlemonkeys@yahoo.com if you need to get in touch.) and ooooh, it was like meeting a drug dealer in a dark alley. I so cheated and went through my notifications real quick.
I'm getting some instant gratification in the fact that I've cheated and played online games. (Julie Lamm...your arse is mine one day in Words with Friends. Are you cheating???) Ok, so I caved. I tended to my farms, zoo and bakery on that darn Ipad. I admit it. I'm human. Leave me alone.
I also broke down and got on twitter (other than auto posts) because I cracked open the new Marc Broussard album (which I faithfully bought like a true fan, even though I already had the album early release!!) and DUDE, a Twitter friend over in Mississippi got an album liner shoutout!!! How COOL is that?? Go check out www.twitter.com/redefiningme, she's a great gal and recovering from surgery....tell her mama sent you :) And get your behind over to Marc's site and take a listen. You won't regret it.
Sooooo, I'm shaking...I'm ready to just straight up get back online but I'm trying to stay strong!!
On the homefront: Eli's potty training is going well....say a prayer...today will be the first nap in underwear.....
School starts August 8th. I think I shall purchase a spa gift card for the teachers....just as an appreciation for taking over what I just mentally cannot.....
Ok....I'm off to have a martini and play Sims. Don't judge...
Friday, May 6, 2011
girl, disconnected....coming in June
Hey all, you know me, a little A.D.D. and need to change things up from time to time. Well, last month I decided I wanted to do a month of being virtually offline. So for the month of June, I will be doing a blog series, "girl, disconnected". It should probably be, girl--mostly disconnected because I will not be COMPLETELY offline. For one...I can't blog the progress without being ONline. So here's the deal:
I will be allowed online for the following things:
1. To blog the progress of this project, sort of a diary of how I'm doing dealing with disconnecting. I plan to write 2-3x a week...depending on how bad my withdrawal is!!
2. To check in and run my most popular shops, Badge Reels (which is getting it's own website!) and MicroMops. I will also leave all my Artfire shops open, after all I do pay a monthly fee....I have to be a realist and recognize that I am trying to run a business here and I need to keep up with my income. However, it will be, a log in, check for sales, answer customer questions, print shipping, and get offline! No online promoting, etc.
3. My other blogs and sites may 'post' but will be due to scheduled postings I've already planned ahead of time.
4. Weekly check of email so my inbox doesn't implode.
What I will NOT be allowed to do:
1. Facebook, twitter or plurk. Ouch....that's gonna hurt.
2. Look up patterns, tutorials, recipes, etc. I have a wealth of information ALREADY, it's time I use some of it.
3. Shop Online. This one is gonna really hurt too.... I'll miss you Amazon.
4. Print Coupons. Again, I have PLENTY cut already and a decent stockpile.
5. Play online games....bye bye farm on my Ipad....
6. Any other internet access. My family still can, and we do sometimes use Skype as a form of communication, so that is ok, since connecting in REAL life is my goal here.
I suspect this will be both equally hard and rewarding. There are days where I don't get online much, as is, like the days I take my Dad grocery shopping...and those days are really nice. Running errands, then sitting in my Dad's beautiful green yard sipping sweet tea....seriously I wonder WHY we get so caught up in social networking. I wonder what it'd be like to be more like Kelly, my best friend who is a rare soul, rarely online, no facebook, twitter, blogs, nothing. She barely remembers to check her email. Granted she has three children and is trying to sell her house, so she has zero time for it as is. But she's an old soul...she even fought getting a cell phone tooth and nail. If she didn't have children, she probably still wouldn't have a cell! Perhaps she's on to something....
I remember years spent in my youth bored to TEARS. Do children even experience that now? Do they know what it's like to just SIT and BE?
I don't plan to just sit around during my month of disconnection. I'll still have my business to attend to, but I hope to really focus on my kids, family, home and what I want. Sometimes, I wonder if I really want to continue in my business. As success grows, what do we sacrifice? What would it like to not rush so much for a month? Could I really close down ALL my shops for a month? REALLY, truly disconnect? (that's a later experiment!).
There is so much I want to create, complete, finish. I tend to take on WAY too many tasks, because, well, I don't know. But I do miss the early years after my son was born, before I took up the handmade life, when I just sat, reading a magazine, while he played on the floor....what happened to that? Where did it go?
It went into starting a business...which has been an incredible experience. I have learned SO much the past 3 years that I've been running my handmade shops. I've actually found some success with it, and there is the possibility to have continued, advanced success if I play my cards right. So part of why I'm disconnecting in June is to focus on that...how can I blend a successful business, my family and my dreams into one?
Soooo, stayed tuned, the journey beings June 1st!!!
~~Amy
I will be allowed online for the following things:
1. To blog the progress of this project, sort of a diary of how I'm doing dealing with disconnecting. I plan to write 2-3x a week...depending on how bad my withdrawal is!!
2. To check in and run my most popular shops, Badge Reels (which is getting it's own website!) and MicroMops. I will also leave all my Artfire shops open, after all I do pay a monthly fee....I have to be a realist and recognize that I am trying to run a business here and I need to keep up with my income. However, it will be, a log in, check for sales, answer customer questions, print shipping, and get offline! No online promoting, etc.
3. My other blogs and sites may 'post' but will be due to scheduled postings I've already planned ahead of time.
4. Weekly check of email so my inbox doesn't implode.
What I will NOT be allowed to do:
1. Facebook, twitter or plurk. Ouch....that's gonna hurt.
2. Look up patterns, tutorials, recipes, etc. I have a wealth of information ALREADY, it's time I use some of it.
3. Shop Online. This one is gonna really hurt too.... I'll miss you Amazon.
4. Print Coupons. Again, I have PLENTY cut already and a decent stockpile.
5. Play online games....bye bye farm on my Ipad....
6. Any other internet access. My family still can, and we do sometimes use Skype as a form of communication, so that is ok, since connecting in REAL life is my goal here.
I suspect this will be both equally hard and rewarding. There are days where I don't get online much, as is, like the days I take my Dad grocery shopping...and those days are really nice. Running errands, then sitting in my Dad's beautiful green yard sipping sweet tea....seriously I wonder WHY we get so caught up in social networking. I wonder what it'd be like to be more like Kelly, my best friend who is a rare soul, rarely online, no facebook, twitter, blogs, nothing. She barely remembers to check her email. Granted she has three children and is trying to sell her house, so she has zero time for it as is. But she's an old soul...she even fought getting a cell phone tooth and nail. If she didn't have children, she probably still wouldn't have a cell! Perhaps she's on to something....
I remember years spent in my youth bored to TEARS. Do children even experience that now? Do they know what it's like to just SIT and BE?
I don't plan to just sit around during my month of disconnection. I'll still have my business to attend to, but I hope to really focus on my kids, family, home and what I want. Sometimes, I wonder if I really want to continue in my business. As success grows, what do we sacrifice? What would it like to not rush so much for a month? Could I really close down ALL my shops for a month? REALLY, truly disconnect? (that's a later experiment!).
There is so much I want to create, complete, finish. I tend to take on WAY too many tasks, because, well, I don't know. But I do miss the early years after my son was born, before I took up the handmade life, when I just sat, reading a magazine, while he played on the floor....what happened to that? Where did it go?
It went into starting a business...which has been an incredible experience. I have learned SO much the past 3 years that I've been running my handmade shops. I've actually found some success with it, and there is the possibility to have continued, advanced success if I play my cards right. So part of why I'm disconnecting in June is to focus on that...how can I blend a successful business, my family and my dreams into one?
Soooo, stayed tuned, the journey beings June 1st!!!
~~Amy
Friday, October 22, 2010
Social Networking Break Review
Day One:
So, when you read this I'll have completed my social networking break.
I'm already somewhat failing! Due to checking my email once a day (I do have businesses to run here!) I see Facebook comments..so I HAD to reply to one on my page about Amos Lee's new album coming out Jan. 25th..I mean come on...AMOS! I'd have that man's babies for crying out loud.
But I digress....I have mostly avoided social networking today....just that quick facebook check, one quick plurk and done. It was easy this morning....I was running errands with my father! It's not so easy now with the computer RIGHT THERE and kid asleep. BUT I am on a mission. I must reconnect with myself, my disorganized house, my pile of fabric and naturally my children.
Etsy team chat tonite for my Handmade Louisiana team so I shall pop in there for a bit (I am the boss after all..) I have to admit...this is harder than you realize. You don't realize how much you depend on the internet and social networking until you don't have it. As a stay at home mother many of my friends are far away and the net is the only way for us to communicate. But, I grew up without social networking, I can do it again!!!
Cheerio my friends, thanks to my SN boycott I will hopefully get the following things accomplished this week:
* Girls night in with a friend
* Trip to children's museum with Eli
* Sewing and craft show prep done
* Purging the children's ever multiplying toys
* Visiting local antique/craft show this weekend
So I'm off to listen to Pandora (Lionel Richie/Neil Diamond station...I AM that awesome...) and get some cleaning done!!!
Day Two:
I had to substitute so I didn't really have time to worry about the net...although I did cheat and check facebook while the kids were sleeping.... But I kept busy that afternoon and night cleaning, creating, etc! Success!
Day Three:
Ran errands with my dad....cheated and checked plurk daily (had to to keep my karma up right!??) Only checked Facebook when I got an email from them...darn emails. Kept up with the shops...started to feel the distance.
It's weird but social networking really does help you feel connected....I really don't think I could stay home all day with out. I mean, I'm no party animal, and I do like my hermit times, but I am generally a people person and like to run my mouth...a lot....so facebook, plurk, twitter, etc helps me do that and not feel alone while at home with a 2 yr old!
Day Four:
Caved....couldn't take it anymore....Had cool stuff to show my friends and gave in...but I made it 4 days on a semi break and I could do it again. I did learn that what you need is balance...do not allow online time to overshadow human time....never push people away because you want to check facebook just ONE MORE TIME....
Read a book while you wait in your kid's car line, chit chat with a stranger at the store instead of talking on the phone. Social networking and technology has it's uses and we enjoy it, but don't forget the real good stuff in life too!
~~Mama Amy
So, when you read this I'll have completed my social networking break.
I'm already somewhat failing! Due to checking my email once a day (I do have businesses to run here!) I see Facebook comments..so I HAD to reply to one on my page about Amos Lee's new album coming out Jan. 25th..I mean come on...AMOS! I'd have that man's babies for crying out loud.
But I digress....I have mostly avoided social networking today....just that quick facebook check, one quick plurk and done. It was easy this morning....I was running errands with my father! It's not so easy now with the computer RIGHT THERE and kid asleep. BUT I am on a mission. I must reconnect with myself, my disorganized house, my pile of fabric and naturally my children.
Etsy team chat tonite for my Handmade Louisiana team so I shall pop in there for a bit (I am the boss after all..) I have to admit...this is harder than you realize. You don't realize how much you depend on the internet and social networking until you don't have it. As a stay at home mother many of my friends are far away and the net is the only way for us to communicate. But, I grew up without social networking, I can do it again!!!
Cheerio my friends, thanks to my SN boycott I will hopefully get the following things accomplished this week:
* Girls night in with a friend
* Trip to children's museum with Eli
* Sewing and craft show prep done
* Purging the children's ever multiplying toys
* Visiting local antique/craft show this weekend
So I'm off to listen to Pandora (Lionel Richie/Neil Diamond station...I AM that awesome...) and get some cleaning done!!!
Day Two:
I had to substitute so I didn't really have time to worry about the net...although I did cheat and check facebook while the kids were sleeping.... But I kept busy that afternoon and night cleaning, creating, etc! Success!
Day Three:
Ran errands with my dad....cheated and checked plurk daily (had to to keep my karma up right!??) Only checked Facebook when I got an email from them...darn emails. Kept up with the shops...started to feel the distance.
It's weird but social networking really does help you feel connected....I really don't think I could stay home all day with out. I mean, I'm no party animal, and I do like my hermit times, but I am generally a people person and like to run my mouth...a lot....so facebook, plurk, twitter, etc helps me do that and not feel alone while at home with a 2 yr old!
Day Four:
Caved....couldn't take it anymore....Had cool stuff to show my friends and gave in...but I made it 4 days on a semi break and I could do it again. I did learn that what you need is balance...do not allow online time to overshadow human time....never push people away because you want to check facebook just ONE MORE TIME....
Read a book while you wait in your kid's car line, chit chat with a stranger at the store instead of talking on the phone. Social networking and technology has it's uses and we enjoy it, but don't forget the real good stuff in life too!
~~Mama Amy
Saturday, October 16, 2010
(Mostly) Internet Free Week...it's break time again!
Wow, over 300 posts on this blog! I'm impressed with myself!
It is that time where I take a social networking break. It won't be a total internet break because I do have to tend to my shops and business doo dads...but I will not be on plurk, facebook, twitter, etc for a bit. Hopefully I can make a week...not sure if my perserverance is that strong! I like to step away, refocus on thoughts, create, read, etc and take a break from the little addiction known as the internet...
Soooooo, I hope you all have a lovely few days...I shall hopefully be spending time, reading, creating, rearranging shops and focusing on the upcoming craft fair. I also have to do some much needed cleaning, purging, and things to do for the children!
I will still check email once a day so you can catch me there! :)
~~Amy
It is that time where I take a social networking break. It won't be a total internet break because I do have to tend to my shops and business doo dads...but I will not be on plurk, facebook, twitter, etc for a bit. Hopefully I can make a week...not sure if my perserverance is that strong! I like to step away, refocus on thoughts, create, read, etc and take a break from the little addiction known as the internet...
Soooooo, I hope you all have a lovely few days...I shall hopefully be spending time, reading, creating, rearranging shops and focusing on the upcoming craft fair. I also have to do some much needed cleaning, purging, and things to do for the children!
I will still check email once a day so you can catch me there! :)
~~Amy
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Truth Hurts...
I want to apologize right now for the length this will likely be. I'd also like to state up front I do not allow annoymous comments on my blog, so if you have to say something I suggest you be brave enough to say it with your own name as I always do on blogs.
A little backstory...
Several weeks ago a familar seller on Artfire was in the forums AGAIN asking for help. This does not bother me. As admin on several teams I am used to helping people out and offerring advice when they ask for it. Sometimes they like it, sometimes they don't. I aim to never be mean or hateful but if you ask for feedback you better be able to hande it.
So this seller, who I'll not name because she has been dragged through the mud enough, has had multiple issues with learning the in's and out's of selling online. I am by NO means an expert at this, but I am familiar enough with forums. Of course I've said MANY a thing I regret online and probably will again.
I should also say I am not friends with this seller per say but I have nothing against her. She's a nice person who just needed some guidance which she asked for from MANY people.
Anyhoo...so the thread this seller was in was getting ugly. I usually avoided all threads this seller was in for some reasons you'll see soon enough. But it was getting nasty. So I commented that everyone should go in their own corners and take a break and this seller should also step back. (This seller has said she is disabled.) I suggested the seller take a break, reread and THINK before she continues to post in the forums. (She has a history of flying off the handle and yelling, crying, and getting upset in the forums.)
Apparently, I might as well have hacked off the arms of an infant and sacrificed them to Allah because I got raped for that comment.
By who? The lovely Pussdaddy of course. And YUP I will link to her blog because she's just the kind of person who will read this and go, "Well if you can write about me you link to me." So HERE YA GO: pussdaddyblogs.blogspot.com
I don't feel like drudging through her numerous posts of insanity, but essentially I was told that telling this seller to THINK is the same as throwing a paraplegic in the water and telling them to swim.
Here is why that is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
*I am a mother first and foremost. I would never tell a disabled person anything I thought was harmful to them. Not only am I mother but I have an autistic son so I KNOW how it feels to have a child that is not 'Normal'. I know the looks, the ridicule, the angst.
*I am also a former teacher, primarily of special education early childhood students. To say I would torment a disabled person is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever seen.
*Telling someone who reports to be disabled to "THINK" is NOT hateful. Saying that is an example of WHAT Is wrong with our society. Why can no one be held accountable for anything? Why is everything someone elses fault? She is disabled...it's not THAT big of a deal. This seller has run her online shop just fine for over a year and the disability thing only seems to get in the way when she wants it to. I'm not saying this to be ugly to her. She can type in forums, albeit with typos--but most of us do that! She can create beautiful handmade items, she can package them, ship them and handle all of that (at least I am assuming she can handle all this because she's run the shop for a year). SO WHY is it horrible to tell her to PROOFREAD and THINK before she posts?
Do you know how many times a day I tell my son with sensory processing disorder to USE HIS BRAIN? A LOT. Because for him, simple decisions are not easy. But that is NOT an excuse! I will not allow him to use his delay to get off easy on things and not use common sense in day to day life. If you think this makes me a bad mother then so be it. My main job is to raise self sufficient boys who are happy, not cowtow to idiots on the web.
So I will not beat that dead horse. I am not concerned about what Pussdaddy thinks of me. But I felt like not speaking up on my own blog is ignoring a horrifying situation that is growing by the minute.
I have commented on a few of PD's blog posts if you wish to go look, I cannot recall which ones but I always commented with my own screenname, mamaslittlemonkeys.
Moving on....
Let's clear a few things up:
*I do not like Pussdaddy. In fact I find what she does ALL day long to be a deplorable use of a human mind. I find her language, cursing, slander, and hateful tones FAR more dangerous than anything she CLAIMS people have done.
*That being said, I am at heart a libertarian. That means I believe in PD's right to blog about what she wants within the scope of the law. I do not think she should get to SLANDER people but it is very hard to prove that when it's done. I do give her a smidge of respect for speaking her mind, however twisted it may be. Part of being a GROWN UP is allowing others to have their opinions. It does not mean I think PD is right on 99% of what she posts (much of which I have no idea what the hell she's talking about because I'm not privy to the situation) but I will absolutely agree she has a right to speak her mind. She has also on a rare occasion admitted she was wrong and that takes guts. I also respect that she gave ME respect for posting on her blog in my real name. That is where my respect ends.
*I do however think if Pussdaddy is all she thinks she's cracked up to be, she'd be more open about who she really is. But in reality, I'm sure she's fearful of the backlash she would receive.
Pussdaddy is a wimp. Plain and simple. She spends her time ranting about "about all sorts of unimportant, mundane crap that probably isn't any of my damn business, but is put out there for public perusal by people as stupid or maybe even stupider than myself." (per her profile)
That sentence right there speaks for itself. Anyone who pushes themselves into everyone else's business obviously has too much time on their hands and nothing creative to do.
I do want to take a moment to go on record about myself with some things:
1. I have never voted anyone down in the Artfire forums. I don't plan to.
2. I said from the get go, that the new forums were a horrifying mistake and it would go horribly wrong. I am not active in the maven's anymore so I was not involved in planning the forums. If I had been I would have said this is a horrible idea.
3. I am not friends with everyone PD has blogged about but I am a few.
4. I am not part of some AF forums clique. Where that idea came from is beyond me. I am only "tight" with a few people on a variety of venues.
5. Being on Pussdaddys blog has not done a thing wrong for my business because anyone with half a brain can take one look at her vile blog and see that anything she says is likely half truths and opinion.
6. I am not scared of Pussdaddy, her blog or any of the multiple personalities who are such great PD fans that they post anonymously. If anything ever got said about me that was a valid threat, I would handle it as the law allowed.
7. Being pussdaddied does not have a thing to do with who I am as a person. Anyone who knows me knows I am a decent person, has worked with a variety of charities, and am a Christian person. I sleep well at nite.
****EDITED TO ADD:
8. I have never been muted anywhere ever.
While her blog is a waste of space on the internet...so are a lot of things in life. There are a lot of things in life I can't do a damn thing about. And you know what, in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't really matter.
I set out at first to write about this because I went through the stages of being "Pussdaddied".
1. Anger
2. Denial
3. Anger again
4. Bargaining
5. Anger again when she posts more untruths about you.
6. Anger again when she railroads other innocent people into the ground.
7. Peace when you realize that the furry little thing doesn't deserve your time.
I am now at the peace stage. I am not pleased that some of my friends have been talked about on her blog, mostly in ways that she knows NOTHING about. The names and words she uses alone are horrifying but again, her legal right to do so. And there is really nothing I can do about it. If at any point I am slandered against where the law can be involved, I might persue it. But I don't think that will happen. I think deep down Pussdaddy respects that I had the nerve to argue with her non-anonymously and she needs us for fodder. She cannot think of things to say WITHOUT bashing people, so how can she blog if she pushes us so far that she's legally bound NOT to talk about people? That would not serve her purpose...whatever that is.
The thing is this, it's all really sad. My sons autism was even dragged around in blog comments because I stood up for myself. The SAME PEOPLE who said I was tormenting a disabled girl then proceeded to wish my son is abused like that so I can see. How does that make ANY SENSE? IF you were TRULY doing what you were doing for the greater good, why would you wish my child any harm?
Also, if the person you are supposed to be helping by blogging all this ASKS YOU TO STOP and you continue to do so, how can you claim were trying to help? At that point it becomes what it is--Pussdaddy looking for attention and drama.
Her blog is what it is, a horrifying Train Wreck that lacks the class of other snarky blogs. She is a wanna be, has been, sad woman. I do not feel anger...I feel sadness for her.
I have already said my apologies to anyone who may have been hurt by anything I did, whether intentional or not.
What bothers me more is this, that I wasted so much time WORRYING about all this when there are 50k people dead in Haiti, an economy on the brink of collapse, constitutional rights being taken away every day, and no cure for the 100's of deadly diseases in our world. WHY did I bother even THINKING about a ridiculous blog with a few hundred followers? I could have spent that time creatively, or packaging up supplies for Haiti, or working on my son's therapy.
That is why, as much as I love the friends who are being abused by Pussdaddy, I will try to stay out of things. I will support you no doubt, as you have supported me, but I will not even look at her blog anymore. It's not worth the time or brain cells. And also, if you are a fan of Pussdaddy I've probably already deleted you off any social networking sites we may share.
It's time to get back to what is IMPORTANT...my family, my creating, and helping others when I can. My friend had her memorial service for her 2 year old this past Saturday. That child lived his life in and out of the hospitals, surgeries, and more. He lived in pain I cannot even imagine. To think that I wasted one brain cell on Pussdaddy when I could have spent that time praying for that little boys family is something I cannot take back.
To those who are continually tormented by Pussdaddy, I feel your pain, I do. But do NOT let it get to you! No matter what you say, what you do, someone will always be around to twist it into what they want. As long as you do what is right in YOUR heart and mind, you can rest easy knowing you did the right thing.
If you want a boost, a hug, anything, I am here for you! But I am putting this to rest, buried where it should be, in a chapter of my life I don't want to go back to. Pussdaddy will likely blog this. I know that. I only ask she has the nerve to actually copy the whole thing and not chicken peck out the parts she wants. Because honestly, if anyone can read this and still think I was ever trying to hurt someone, then they are not anyone I want to know.
If you decide to comment, that is entirely up to you. Do not feel you have to. If you do so and you disagree with what I said, that is also fine to but I will delete comments with nasty language, insults or hateful talk.
I do not want the comments to become a bashing of Pussdaddy either...that does not serve MY purpose of moving on and being at peace with everything. So I will also delete those comments also. Any hateful comments to ANYONE will be deleted because I will not allow that on my blog
If this has taught us anything it's that Pussdaddy does show us we need to take responsibility for our actions, words and be very careful what we say. Even if we THINK we didn't say anything wrong, you might have hurt someone.
So Pussdaddy..that's that. I apologize if anything I said in THIS post hurts your feelings, but you know as well as I do that if you can dish it out , you can take it.
And that folks is a wrap!
mama
A little backstory...
Several weeks ago a familar seller on Artfire was in the forums AGAIN asking for help. This does not bother me. As admin on several teams I am used to helping people out and offerring advice when they ask for it. Sometimes they like it, sometimes they don't. I aim to never be mean or hateful but if you ask for feedback you better be able to hande it.
So this seller, who I'll not name because she has been dragged through the mud enough, has had multiple issues with learning the in's and out's of selling online. I am by NO means an expert at this, but I am familiar enough with forums. Of course I've said MANY a thing I regret online and probably will again.
I should also say I am not friends with this seller per say but I have nothing against her. She's a nice person who just needed some guidance which she asked for from MANY people.
Anyhoo...so the thread this seller was in was getting ugly. I usually avoided all threads this seller was in for some reasons you'll see soon enough. But it was getting nasty. So I commented that everyone should go in their own corners and take a break and this seller should also step back. (This seller has said she is disabled.) I suggested the seller take a break, reread and THINK before she continues to post in the forums. (She has a history of flying off the handle and yelling, crying, and getting upset in the forums.)
Apparently, I might as well have hacked off the arms of an infant and sacrificed them to Allah because I got raped for that comment.
By who? The lovely Pussdaddy of course. And YUP I will link to her blog because she's just the kind of person who will read this and go, "Well if you can write about me you link to me." So HERE YA GO: pussdaddyblogs.blogspot.com
I don't feel like drudging through her numerous posts of insanity, but essentially I was told that telling this seller to THINK is the same as throwing a paraplegic in the water and telling them to swim.
Here is why that is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
*I am a mother first and foremost. I would never tell a disabled person anything I thought was harmful to them. Not only am I mother but I have an autistic son so I KNOW how it feels to have a child that is not 'Normal'. I know the looks, the ridicule, the angst.
*I am also a former teacher, primarily of special education early childhood students. To say I would torment a disabled person is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever seen.
*Telling someone who reports to be disabled to "THINK" is NOT hateful. Saying that is an example of WHAT Is wrong with our society. Why can no one be held accountable for anything? Why is everything someone elses fault? She is disabled...it's not THAT big of a deal. This seller has run her online shop just fine for over a year and the disability thing only seems to get in the way when she wants it to. I'm not saying this to be ugly to her. She can type in forums, albeit with typos--but most of us do that! She can create beautiful handmade items, she can package them, ship them and handle all of that (at least I am assuming she can handle all this because she's run the shop for a year). SO WHY is it horrible to tell her to PROOFREAD and THINK before she posts?
Do you know how many times a day I tell my son with sensory processing disorder to USE HIS BRAIN? A LOT. Because for him, simple decisions are not easy. But that is NOT an excuse! I will not allow him to use his delay to get off easy on things and not use common sense in day to day life. If you think this makes me a bad mother then so be it. My main job is to raise self sufficient boys who are happy, not cowtow to idiots on the web.
So I will not beat that dead horse. I am not concerned about what Pussdaddy thinks of me. But I felt like not speaking up on my own blog is ignoring a horrifying situation that is growing by the minute.
I have commented on a few of PD's blog posts if you wish to go look, I cannot recall which ones but I always commented with my own screenname, mamaslittlemonkeys.
Moving on....
Let's clear a few things up:
*I do not like Pussdaddy. In fact I find what she does ALL day long to be a deplorable use of a human mind. I find her language, cursing, slander, and hateful tones FAR more dangerous than anything she CLAIMS people have done.
*That being said, I am at heart a libertarian. That means I believe in PD's right to blog about what she wants within the scope of the law. I do not think she should get to SLANDER people but it is very hard to prove that when it's done. I do give her a smidge of respect for speaking her mind, however twisted it may be. Part of being a GROWN UP is allowing others to have their opinions. It does not mean I think PD is right on 99% of what she posts (much of which I have no idea what the hell she's talking about because I'm not privy to the situation) but I will absolutely agree she has a right to speak her mind. She has also on a rare occasion admitted she was wrong and that takes guts. I also respect that she gave ME respect for posting on her blog in my real name. That is where my respect ends.
*I do however think if Pussdaddy is all she thinks she's cracked up to be, she'd be more open about who she really is. But in reality, I'm sure she's fearful of the backlash she would receive.
Pussdaddy is a wimp. Plain and simple. She spends her time ranting about "about all sorts of unimportant, mundane crap that probably isn't any of my damn business, but is put out there for public perusal by people as stupid or maybe even stupider than myself." (per her profile)
That sentence right there speaks for itself. Anyone who pushes themselves into everyone else's business obviously has too much time on their hands and nothing creative to do.
I do want to take a moment to go on record about myself with some things:
1. I have never voted anyone down in the Artfire forums. I don't plan to.
2. I said from the get go, that the new forums were a horrifying mistake and it would go horribly wrong. I am not active in the maven's anymore so I was not involved in planning the forums. If I had been I would have said this is a horrible idea.
3. I am not friends with everyone PD has blogged about but I am a few.
4. I am not part of some AF forums clique. Where that idea came from is beyond me. I am only "tight" with a few people on a variety of venues.
5. Being on Pussdaddys blog has not done a thing wrong for my business because anyone with half a brain can take one look at her vile blog and see that anything she says is likely half truths and opinion.
6. I am not scared of Pussdaddy, her blog or any of the multiple personalities who are such great PD fans that they post anonymously. If anything ever got said about me that was a valid threat, I would handle it as the law allowed.
7. Being pussdaddied does not have a thing to do with who I am as a person. Anyone who knows me knows I am a decent person, has worked with a variety of charities, and am a Christian person. I sleep well at nite.
****EDITED TO ADD:
8. I have never been muted anywhere ever.
While her blog is a waste of space on the internet...so are a lot of things in life. There are a lot of things in life I can't do a damn thing about. And you know what, in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't really matter.
I set out at first to write about this because I went through the stages of being "Pussdaddied".
1. Anger
2. Denial
3. Anger again
4. Bargaining
5. Anger again when she posts more untruths about you.
6. Anger again when she railroads other innocent people into the ground.
7. Peace when you realize that the furry little thing doesn't deserve your time.
I am now at the peace stage. I am not pleased that some of my friends have been talked about on her blog, mostly in ways that she knows NOTHING about. The names and words she uses alone are horrifying but again, her legal right to do so. And there is really nothing I can do about it. If at any point I am slandered against where the law can be involved, I might persue it. But I don't think that will happen. I think deep down Pussdaddy respects that I had the nerve to argue with her non-anonymously and she needs us for fodder. She cannot think of things to say WITHOUT bashing people, so how can she blog if she pushes us so far that she's legally bound NOT to talk about people? That would not serve her purpose...whatever that is.
The thing is this, it's all really sad. My sons autism was even dragged around in blog comments because I stood up for myself. The SAME PEOPLE who said I was tormenting a disabled girl then proceeded to wish my son is abused like that so I can see. How does that make ANY SENSE? IF you were TRULY doing what you were doing for the greater good, why would you wish my child any harm?
Also, if the person you are supposed to be helping by blogging all this ASKS YOU TO STOP and you continue to do so, how can you claim were trying to help? At that point it becomes what it is--Pussdaddy looking for attention and drama.
Her blog is what it is, a horrifying Train Wreck that lacks the class of other snarky blogs. She is a wanna be, has been, sad woman. I do not feel anger...I feel sadness for her.
I have already said my apologies to anyone who may have been hurt by anything I did, whether intentional or not.
What bothers me more is this, that I wasted so much time WORRYING about all this when there are 50k people dead in Haiti, an economy on the brink of collapse, constitutional rights being taken away every day, and no cure for the 100's of deadly diseases in our world. WHY did I bother even THINKING about a ridiculous blog with a few hundred followers? I could have spent that time creatively, or packaging up supplies for Haiti, or working on my son's therapy.
That is why, as much as I love the friends who are being abused by Pussdaddy, I will try to stay out of things. I will support you no doubt, as you have supported me, but I will not even look at her blog anymore. It's not worth the time or brain cells. And also, if you are a fan of Pussdaddy I've probably already deleted you off any social networking sites we may share.
It's time to get back to what is IMPORTANT...my family, my creating, and helping others when I can. My friend had her memorial service for her 2 year old this past Saturday. That child lived his life in and out of the hospitals, surgeries, and more. He lived in pain I cannot even imagine. To think that I wasted one brain cell on Pussdaddy when I could have spent that time praying for that little boys family is something I cannot take back.
To those who are continually tormented by Pussdaddy, I feel your pain, I do. But do NOT let it get to you! No matter what you say, what you do, someone will always be around to twist it into what they want. As long as you do what is right in YOUR heart and mind, you can rest easy knowing you did the right thing.
If you want a boost, a hug, anything, I am here for you! But I am putting this to rest, buried where it should be, in a chapter of my life I don't want to go back to. Pussdaddy will likely blog this. I know that. I only ask she has the nerve to actually copy the whole thing and not chicken peck out the parts she wants. Because honestly, if anyone can read this and still think I was ever trying to hurt someone, then they are not anyone I want to know.
If you decide to comment, that is entirely up to you. Do not feel you have to. If you do so and you disagree with what I said, that is also fine to but I will delete comments with nasty language, insults or hateful talk.
I do not want the comments to become a bashing of Pussdaddy either...that does not serve MY purpose of moving on and being at peace with everything. So I will also delete those comments also. Any hateful comments to ANYONE will be deleted because I will not allow that on my blog
If this has taught us anything it's that Pussdaddy does show us we need to take responsibility for our actions, words and be very careful what we say. Even if we THINK we didn't say anything wrong, you might have hurt someone.
So Pussdaddy..that's that. I apologize if anything I said in THIS post hurts your feelings, but you know as well as I do that if you can dish it out , you can take it.
And that folks is a wrap!
mama
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