Friend or Parent?

As of late, my almost 5 year old, Harrison, has been asking me, "Mommy, are you my friend?"

He's been asking this... a lot. Incessantly. At weird random times during the day, not always when he wants something or I'm fussing at him.

So when he asks this, my mind wanders for a second...is he going to be this needy, whiney little child who needs constant gratification and praise? Will he be 40 and running off his third wife because he can't stop asking her if she really does love him?

I only ponder these things for a bit and then I reply, "Yes, honey, Mommy loves you and is your friend, but I'll always be your Mommy more." Sometimes we continue and talk about how mommies are teachers and our jobs are to teach our children how to be healthy, happy people.

Sometimes we don't.

What is my point? My point is, although I'm satisfying his growing need to understand family relationships, at this point, I will have to teach him at some point that mommies are parents first, friends second.

Why is this important? Because I really do feel that too many parents are too worried about being a friend to their child, than a parent. My mother always tried to be my friend first so when she wanted to slip into the parent role and lay down the law, I scoffed at the idea.

I am constantly reminding myself that his few minutes of happiness if I give in to something he does not need, or I backtrack on a consequence, are not worth the years of heartache it could lead to down the road. He is slowly learning that Mommy and Daddy are the parents, the 'bosses' as he says. :) We take the time to explain the hierarchy of families and WHY we believe in them, using the Bible and our religious beliefs as our base of understanding---explaining it in kid terms of course.

Pretty soon, Harrison will start Kindergarten and although he's been in preschool for two years, alas, public school is a whole new ballgame. He will learn the ropes of real friendships, enemies, fun and heartache. Hopefully he'll find those few good true friends who will stand the test of time like I have, and hopefully he'll continue to learn that although Mommy is always there for him, my role is not as a friend per say but a role model, teacher and "boss".

But for right now....I'm happy giving him a hug and saying, "Of course I'm your friend buddy....but you still have to eat your peas!"

~~Amy

Content Decision....

I am sooooo happy to report I've made a decision...if you recall I started a new job back in February that was a temp position through the end of May. The job was among a company I formerly worked for and very much enjoyed. It worked out great that I could work at Harrison's school and my mother in law watched Eli.

Well, the time has come to make a decision...keep on working or stay home? After a short deliberation I decided to stay home! It's not even decided yet if the position I had would be returning or not, but that's okay with me, I'd already made up my mind. It wasn't an incredibly easy decision, I do love the job, it's in social services so I got to work with children but help families also. And I greatly enjoyed my coworkers. They were a blast and made me feel very welcome!

But I have to be real, my family is most important. Eli is only 2.5 yrs old. He has Autism, albeit high functioning, but he's just begun ABA therapy and that is extremely important to helping 'retrain' his brain. The problem is, it takes a lot to DO ABA Therapy and we feel its best that I be home to follow through with what the therapist says to do. He's already made great strides in it in a week's time!! His 'homework' this week was when he pulls me to something, I'm to get him to point and say "I want milk" or whatever it is. Well we've been doing that over and over, and earlier tonite he walked up to the pantry, pointed and said, "I Want Fish!" (Swedish Fish) without me prompting him at ALL. HUUUUGE Step for him!! He's been talking more and it's like he knows that it's on like Donkey Kong and I'm going to stay on top of this!!

So I am very happy with my decision, very content. My online handmade businesses are doing good to the point I can have a little bit of spending money for me (okay for more fabric buying...) and I enjoy doing it! The challenge of new projects, the comfort in making familiar ones, are all reasons I like creating handmade. So the beauty of staying home allows me to get that stuff done while Eli naps.

Harrison also starts kindergarten this year! (YIKES!) I'd like to be involved in his school. When Eli turns three in January there is a chance he'll go to school full time also. Perhaps then I can revisit the work situation. But right now, I'm happy to substitute from time to time, do my handmade thang, and be a MOMMY! :)

So I guess you'll be hearing more from me than the past few months!!
~~Amy